December 5, 2008
When I first read about “Bonetown,” the obvious comparison to “Leisure Suit Larry” instantly popped into my head. “Leisure Suit Larry” is a long running adventure series that didn’t consist of much game play; it was a point and click, but it earned its’ fame by not only being focused on sex, but also being funny as hell. However, “Bonetown” doesn’t contain any decent writing, or a good game to go along with it. Just because you paid voice actors to swear constantly, pretend to have orgasms, and have racially stereotypical accents, doesn’t mean your game is “edgy.” Now, please don’t get the impression I’m offended by the politically incorrect nature of the game, I’m more offended by just how terrible “Bonetown” is.
Like every other review, the second paragraph is supposed to be about the plot, but since this is “Bonetown” we’re talking about here, we won’t be staying too long. Basically the story starts off with you waking up on Missionary Beach courtesy of a golden shower from a local drunk frat boy. After a series of poorly written dialog lines laced with constant swearing, a “hot” chick named Candy approaches you and gives you a brief tour of how “Bonetown” is played. Shortly after the verbal tour, I was treated to an unintentionally humorous sex scene with her which was suddenly interrupted by a Men in Black extra. Candy then explains that the suit works for “The Man” (not a typo), and they are trying to take over Bonetown. For what reason? Who knows, but, in the end, she gets arrested and I get a warning. [Read more]