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Mad Gamer: Top 5 Things Wrong with - Bionic Commando

Tales of Two Minds of DaveDaGamer:

Mad Gamer – Tell em why you mad! I believe that in today’s game journalism there are a woeful amount of people going on and on about a particular game’s greatness, but there are very few that point out what’s bad about a game. EVERY game has flaws, and I think it’s time to shine a light on the things that may turn off some gamers.

Happy Gamer – will tell you why you should give the game a go, DESPITE its flaws. As nothing is perfect and if you look at something in a different way you might find it in your heart to like it.

Without much further delay, here is:

Top 5 Things Wrong with: Bionic Commando

by Mad Gamer

#5 – He moves like a tank.

Here’s a game that sells itself on how you can, “Get your swing on!” But they don’t tell you that he can hook onto “Most” things. WTF?!!?! What year is this?

You will spend a good amount of your time fighting your brain that tells you, “He’s just like Spider-Man… He’s just like Spider-Man.” To the point you begin to say, “He’s a broken Spider-Man.” The swinging mechanism’s biggest flaw? He can’t grab onto EVERYTHING. Why not? It’s there, why can I grab this ledge, but not that one? The developers did this in order to keep gamers on the correct path. Right there is the rub, there’s a fight between exploration and linear gameplay that is just not right.

Not to mention that unlike Spidey’s web that goes out for a considerable distance, Monkey arms doesn’t extend that far and won’t even fire unless there is a suitable grapple. Causing you to fall to your demise…

#4 – What’s the point of giving you guns?

Here’s this bad ass of a dude with a Robotech arm who can pick up rocks and cars (eventually) and hurl them at baddies. But for some reason the developers felt in this game you had to use your other arm for something. So they give you these pea shooters (yes I’m aware you get a shot gun, rocket launcher, sniper rifle etc) with absolutely no skill required to shoot these things.

You can run around in circles and as long as you have your big ass reticule on the enemy you’re pretty much assured a hit. As for the Rocket Launcher? Just hold down the button and it’ll lock on to the enemy, release and kablooie.

#3 – Waypoints.

Wait. So a game that is linear and only allows you to go one way needs to mark which way you can go? Grin tried to hide the fact that there’s only one way through each level by modeling what appears to be a great ruined city. But remember invisible walls? They are in this game, but instead of slamming into a virtual barrier, you’ll all of a sudden be in a radiated area and just die of gamma rays.

You are supposed to know these places are radiated by the ghostly blue oozy looking stuff on buildings. But on your first encounter with the biomechs there’s a “collectible” right in the arch of what looks like an old courthouse. BUT don’t dare go above the arch (a difference of lets say two feet real time) or lest you be irradiated to your doom.

The screenshots are breathtaking. But you see that blue ooze on the buildings? Means you can’t go there… Bummer

#2 – Find everything your first time through

Which brings me to the next POS in this game. There are collectibles strewn about in each section of a level. (You’ll know you are in a different section when you hit a load screen, more on that in a second!) So for a game that is linear with only one way through and discouraging invisi-walls of radiation or simply nothing to grapple on. Why in SAM’s Hell do you have us out “exploring” to find these 8-bit floating “collectibles”? Not only that, say by some Off chance your ass falls into a black hole or gets fried from radiation, you respawn and have to GET ALL OF THE SHITS in the area again? OMG OMG OMG. Great Scott and all that Jazz.

Let me write that again for those who didn’t get it the first time. Let’s say there’s six 8-bit thingys to collect. You’ve “found” 5 out of 6 in an given area. You see the sixth one, but because of some blind radiation or you miss a swing (Which you will! Don’t give me that crap about skill in a trial-and-error game) and die, you have to get all six of the thingy’s again?

Or even worse you move to the next area. There’s NO way to go back to that level. Even if you pick the level select, all the collectibles are deactivated and the only way to get them would be to play through the entire game again!

That right there is as they say, “Weak Sauce”.

#1 – Loading

Here I come to save the Da-a-a-a-a-y! Screeching halt. Imagine every time Mighty Mouse would fly into a scene he had to stop for traffic before continuing. Well folks that’s right, that’s exactly what Grin has given you. While there are no loads within a section, when you get to the end of one you swing into a hole and are hit with a loading screen. If you get real good at swinging you can swing from one end to the other in about 2 mins.

Every. Single. Time. Now I’m not that impatient when it comes to loading (Go play Metal Gear Solid: 4 and you’ll learn patience) but this game has you sitting for-ev-ar till the next section of playability occurs. The sections are so short; I really believe the level of waiting vs. playing is nearing 30 / 70, which is unacceptable.

Developers have to be smarter about loading in a game. This feels lazy compared to many games that have come before this.

by Happy Gamer

After reading all of the Mad Gamer rants you may be thinking to yourself damn this game must SUCK! Well… I’ve played worse. “Bionic Commando” does have a lot of things going for it.

#1 - Graphics

This game is definitely no slouch in the graphics department. Some of the vistas are literally breathtaking. Grin also does a good job of changing up the depth of field focus. Sometimes they may go a little overboard with the dust hitting the screen but overall the look and feel is spot on.

#2 – Big Enemy / Boss Fights

These guys are definitely impressive and fun to fight. But damn if you don’t have enough ammo…. wait these are the good things. Like I was saying these screens are great but seeing them moving will definitely get this game into our upcoming Boss Beatdowns videos (stay tuned).

#3 – Reviving Franchises

As a gamer that’s been there since the NES, it’s always a good feeling when the classics are brought back. Because in many gamer geek discussions we find ourselves saying, man I wish they re-made such and such game. We always fear the worst because it would be in the hands of someone who wasn’t as passionate about the original material as we are. I can definitely say that Grin has given this update the same amount of love that the original had. It’s was a frustratingly difficult game then, and now while not a difficult stays true to its roots.

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2 Responses to “Mad Gamer: Top 5 Things Wrong with - Bionic Commando”

  1. DW on May 19th, 2009 6:02 pm

    I heard the loading problem only applies to xbox


  2. ragdollkungfu on May 19th, 2009 6:11 pm

    How long is the install on the PS3?


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