Freeman/Mario ‘08 - Games’ Best Write-In Presidential Candidates
With election fever sweeping the country (as well as splitting it almost in half), everyone has an opinion about who should be elected President next Tuesday. However, with only two major parties on the ballot, and a handful of independents, what if none of the nominees are still right for you? Well, you can always write-in your own candidates - anyone or anything you want - it’s your vote.
I’ve put together, what I think is the strongest possible ticket from the video games, and would be the best choice for the country, you know… if they were real. If elected, a combined ticket of “Half-Life”’s Doctor Gordon Freeman and “Super Mario Bros.”’s Luigi Mario have a really good chance of putting this country back on track, headed towards greatness.
Here is what each has to offer us:
Dr. Gordon Freeman for President
As a thoretical physist, Dr. Gordon Freeman will put a great mind back in an office which has been devoid of one for eight long years now. His understanding of the way the world works, at its most basic level, is an asset to both the presidency, and the country. His scientifiic expertise will help the country overcome such problems as global warming, the engery crisis, and, should they ever occur, alien invasions.
He is also pushing his plans to declassify all governmental research that has taken place in secret over the years, saying that the country will be a better place once everything going on at places like Area 51 and Black Mesa are out in the open, the country will be a better place, free of fear and suspicion of what the government is doing behind closed doors.
He also has quite a bit of experience dealing with foreign countries, citing that he has spent a lot of time in in Europe, and that his years of experience in City 17 are invaluable to helping him deal with foreign policy makers.
While he may be appear to be the strong silent type, Dr. Freeman is unlike any candidate in the running for the office of president, because he’s really more about giving control to the people of this country, and changing the way that Washington currently works. He offers experience, knowledge, an openness to science, and, overall, a general will to survive, all of which could do this country good.
Luigi Mario For Vice President
For years Luigi has known how to be one of the best sidekicks in video games. Perpetually in the shadow of his older brother, he understands his place, and won’t ever abuse his elected office, and he is quite experienced at providing support in tough situations without overstepping his bounds.
In the past he has played a vital role in foreign relations through negotiations and removal of radical leaders, that have terrorised and invaded other nations and kingdoms. While there have been some reports about him palling around with the very same terrorists (one “Bowser Koopa” in particular), Luigi has explained that those instances occurred a long time ago when the world was a different place, and will most likely never happen again.
Luigi also has a unique stance on the healthcare crisis in the country, recommending that we make homeopathic drugs like mushrooms and flowers readily available to everyone that needs them, free of cost. Although, some have called his idea to randomly hide these “power-ups” in boxes only marked with a question mark, “radical” and “boardline insane,” he firmly stands by his policy.
Luigi also quite an understanding of the nation’s struggling economy, with a blue collar background, spending many years toiling away at a small, family owned plumbing business. He understands just how hard it can be to get ahead and succeed, but over the years, he, along with his brother Mario, have done some great work with pipes, and come out very successful in the end. Some have even gone so far as to dub him “Luigi the Plumber,” for his understanding of Main Street’s financial issues.
While he may not be ready for the Oval Office just year (although he may be looking ahead to 2012 if this campaign doesn’t pan out), he is this country’s best choice for V.P.
TrueGameHeadz would like to make it clear that we endorse a Freeman/Mario ticket in Tuesday’s election, and hope that everyone that can, gets out and votes.
Think you have a better ticket? Let us know…