4 Bands Gamers Love To Hate
Ska-rockers Gwen Co. (because no one really cared about Tony, Tom, and Adrian) might have been one of my favorite bands when I was a kid. Back when music videos didn’t suck ass I memorized the entire video for Don’t Speak frame by effin’ frame (it was on MTV alot, shut up). Plus, Tragic Kingdom was a damn good album and Gwen Stefani was bearable at the time. So it pains me to see gamers receive No Doubt DLC with such “meh”-age. Actually, maybe they just didn’t want their music in Guitar Hero 3 because, like Coldplay, they aren’t really known for their guitar riffs and such. Maybe gamers would rather see them in Rock Band (makes a lot more sense) and fortunately that’s happening sometime soon because I was getting tired of spamming song requests over at rockband.com. Moar Sunday Morning plz!
Wait, so gamers don’t really hate No Doubt? Wow, what a great start to this feature!
Funny story: Paramore opened for Jimmy Eat World at my college not too long ago and I got in for free. No, I wasn’t VIP or anything, I just happened to be working at the concessions stand for the gig. Yeah, real pimp. Judging by the fact that every other concert attendee was an angsty high school student with dyed hair (though not as bad as FOB fans, but we’ll get to that later) I decided to ignore Paramore and spend my work break eating all the pepperoni pizza I “dropped”.
After blowing my money on Rock Band DLC one day (this happens often) I had only 80 MS Points left over. “Crushcrushcrush” was the only song going for 80 points that I had remotely heard of so I decided to give it a go. I ended up really liking its drum track at first and then the entire song in general. After hearing that their songs “Misery Business” and “That’s What You Get” would be in Guitar Hero World Tour and Rock Band 2 respectively I gave both a download. I’m ashamed to say it but those two songs somehow crept their way into my Top 50 Most Played playlist on iTunes. Somehow. Maybe my roommate came in and put one of them on repeat. I’m just saying.
Now I can understand why some gamers (who are obviously the manliest of men) might not like the pop-rockish flavor of Paramore but dude, their lead singer is gorgeous. And unlike other women in music nowadays (I’m looking at you, Rihanna, and no one else but you) she actually has a pretty good voice.
Wait, am I the only one that thinks the lead singer is hot? Then again, I am a sucker for red hair. Ok, if you don’t think she’s at least cute then I’ll kindly ask you to hand over your Man Card. Hey, who the f*ck are those guys behind the hot lead singer?
I’m not gonna lie, I have 3 Fall Out Boy songs on my iPod. Three. That’s it. Nothing more, I swear. And I was only responsible for one of those songs. This chick I was hitting on really liked them and I let her add two more songs because I’m a little bitch. It’s not like their music is terrible or anything, I just think gamers dislike the FOB members themselves rather than their music. Gamers generally aren’t fans of Emo culture (except for the occasional emo gamer) and frankly the whole emo thing just depresses me. Looking at the picture above makes me wanna watch that movie Stepmom all over again. Just like public bathrooms and long strands of loose hair on couches, dudes with make-up give me the heebie-jeebies. Pete Wentz probably wears more eyeliner than his wife Ashlee Simpson, a Maybelline commercial, and the entire cast of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Broadway musical Cats combined.
Wait, why is Pete Wentz even this famous? I just found out last weekend that he only plays the bass guitar! Usually no one gives two sh*ts about a bass guitarist unless he’s a crazy mofo like Flea or happens to be Sting. My FOB-nut friend told me the chubby guy writes and sings most of the songs anyway.
Hearing fellow gamers rag on Coldplay breaks my heart. Why? Because I owe this band my life. Before you call me a fanboy or just simply “gay”, hear me out. I have unique case of Attention Deficit Disorder that has serious effects on my schoolwork. By “unique case” I mean I can’t concentrate on homework because I’m constantly thinking about how I’m not playing Call of Duty 4* at that moment. I found that locking myself in my room with Coldplay (and occasionally Enya) playing in the background helped me get a lot of work done and I managed keep my grades up.
Now for the second part of my story: I’m from Nigeria (and proud of it). Unlike in the US it’s perfectly acceptable to beat your kids if they step out of line. In fact, it’s perfectly acceptable to beat your neighbor’s kid if they step out of line. If I broke my neighbor’s window and my dad found out the conversation would probably turn out like this:
Dad: Why is my son crying? What did you do to him? DID YOU TOUCH HIM?
Neighbor: I warned him not to kick his soccer ball too hard and he ended up breaking my window… so I smacked him.
Dad: Is this true, Chu?
Me: Yes *sob*
Dad: Hey, thanks! *Smacks me on the head*
The same thing happens when you come home with crappy grades expect now that I’m obviously too big for them to beat they’ll probably just kill me. Now do you see why I owe Coldplay my life? LEAVE…COLDPLAY…ALONE!
And America, beat your kids if they’re being little pricks. Or else they’ll end up like this.
*Oh yeah, I just wanted to thank Infinity Ward for releasing CoD4 six days before my finals week. I got sooo much studying done! Assholes. Oh, Double XP weekend, you say? I forgive you.
Honorable Mentions: Metallica, Panic at the Disco (too lazy to write about them), post-first album Linkin Park.